Like there wasn’t anything that could take all my broken pieces that I felt that day and make sense of them let alone put that back together. I felt like glass that was shattered into a million shards of glass. I wasn’t sure what to do with my brokenness that day.
My feelings in the last year, I think for the most part have been nonexistent/numb to keep status quo or there has been sadness as I process things that had happened or that were going on inside of me. Don’t get me wrong, I have had moments of joy and when they happen I try to take note of them.
But through this all I still struggled with myself and the direction that God has called me to. I struggled with myself because I love my career in social work and the community I work in. And I love visual storytelling and photography especially with elderly. There was this tension between the two because I felt that if I leave social work I am leaving a career that I have built and love for over 10 years. And I was letting myself and others around me down by leaving social work. But I knew that if I did not see where my business might go that I was going to regret that and I could not live with that.