Emotions & God’s truth
Tonight at church I had a hard time singing these lyrics to this song as I was processing my friend’s death. All a sudden I could not sing these words because I started to question why God did not heal my friend.
Like there wasn’t anything that could take all my broken pieces that I felt that day and make sense of them let alone put that back together. I felt like glass that was shattered into a million shards of glass. I wasn’t sure what to do with my brokenness that day.
That Wednesday morning at work, I was feeling anxious to the point it was the closest thing I ever felt to anxiety attack. My muscles in my back tensed up and the tension lasted for days.
These questions kept coming up in my mind.
But through this all I still struggled with myself and the direction that God has called me to. I struggled with myself because I love my career in social work and the community I work in. And I love visual storytelling and photography especially with elderly. There was this tension between the two because I felt that if I leave social work I am leaving a career that I have built and love for over 10 years. And I was letting myself and others around me down by leaving social work. But I knew that if I did not see where my business might go that I was going to regret that and I could not live with that.
10. Lessons in the Valley
As scary and uncertain my future looked that day, I was resting in this unshakable peace. I was leaving my job without a plan not knowing what was going to be next.
As I look at these last nine months, I see the lessons that God had for me in this valley: